I am PUBLICLY PROMISING that I will write up a post before tomorrow morning. Promise. It might just be a NOTD, but it will be something.
But for now... I just want to vent a little bit! I have been feeling so unenthusiastic about makeup, and it's not because I'm not into makeup. Honestly, I just really don't want to take pictures of myself. I don't feel like I've been keeping myself up like I usually do, and I just can't stand the idea of taking photos of myself and having to go through them all. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I've been spending as little time on makeup as possible so I don't have to think about how unhappy I am with the way I look lately. It's not even a low self-esteem thing, I am just not happy with the way I've been looking when it comes to my hair, clothes, etc... I need a makeover or something! It's been so long since I've felt cute. I've felt "cute for me" or "prettier than usual", but not when compared to other people. I got my hair cut recently, and it looked great when the hair dresser styled it, but now that it's shorter (just at my shoulders) it gets super ugly if I let it air dry like I normally do. My hair is almost curly (if I let it air dry, I get weird looking ringlets), and being so wavy, it looks messy if I leave it unbrushed like gals with truly curly hair would do, but really poufy if I do brush it out. Now that it's shorter and doesn't have the length weighing it down, it just goes out sideways when I do that! So I need to teach myself how to style my hair.
I have also been really stressed out... My schoolwork isn't going the way I thought it would, which is really depressing. I thought I would graduate last spring, and now that it's looking like it won't be until next spring, I am so... upset isn't even the right word. It's like it's sucked all the emotion from me, and school and my thesis have become this black hole. I am at a point where I feel like school is keeping me from the things I want to accomplish, rather than helping me reach goals. Maybe I'd feel differently if there was a career I wanted that required the degree I'm working towards, but that's not the case. That being said, I am too close to the end (I've finished all my coursework, I just need to get through the thesis process) to walk away from it now. I'm trying to find a part-time job so finishing up school ASAP doesn't feel like my whole world. I really desperately need to be able to define myself with some successes, not just things I perceive as failures. I have an interview for a job I would really like to have tomorrow, and I am really nervous. I can feel my throat closing as I type this up, that's how nervous I am! So wish me luck and send me good energy!
Does anyone else ever feel like they get stuck in these ruts where they just aren't happy with their beauty routine, or wish they could mix things up but don't know how? Anyone else letting stress from "the real world" distract them from blogging?
Also, I really want to take this time to thank all of you guys who follow along and comment. It means a lot to me to be part of this community, and you guys support me more than you know!